I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So many bounce houses so little time
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS