nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.