why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.