she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.