Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize