I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo