he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
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he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
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at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
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Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!