We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
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Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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