I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
