lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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