i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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