Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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