Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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