It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased