I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just had sex on a roof
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome