Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass