A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.