i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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