She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
