big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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