I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she pinky promised me she was 18
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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