Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
