i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you traded sex for a burrito?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We have so much sex to catch up on
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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