I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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