how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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