I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm too high and old for this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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