i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize