Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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