lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he puts the penis in happiness.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
