I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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