Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
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but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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