Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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