I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize