How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize