I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Whats that? My new stripper name?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube