Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.