the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
