I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
