I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
