I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.