whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
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How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
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Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe