Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....