Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
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I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.