Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
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