9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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