So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
