so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize