Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs