I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.