quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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