k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
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You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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