This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
