she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
