Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My pussy is not your playground.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive