i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
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I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.