ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
