In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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