i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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