**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
