Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
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Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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