a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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