And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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