Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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