someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.