Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.

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  (651): Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip. http://tfl.nu/wq4t
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (853)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking

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  (973): i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking http://tfl.nu/emks
  Replies (23) Good night (461) Bad night (2441)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure

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  (915): i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure http://tfl.nu/p6xi
  Replies (22) Good night (3546) Bad night (1606)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?

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  (617): What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you? http://tfl.nu/svb6
  Replies (31) Good night (4665) Bad night (1031)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?

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  (803): Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation? http://tfl.nu/0dba
  Replies (15) Good night (4921) Bad night (1767)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob

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  (570): I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob http://tfl.nu/rxex
  Replies (22) Good night (992) Bad night (11685)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.

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  (413): I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say. http://tfl.nu/z11c
  Replies (46) Good night (1993) Bad night (5358)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.

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  (701): That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley. http://tfl.nu/h7e5
  Replies (15) Good night (2633) Bad night (1480)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever

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  (704): You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever http://tfl.nu/czge
  Replies (3) Good night (1012) Bad night (2358)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.

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  (330): She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time. http://tfl.nu/qns1
  Replies (4) Good night (2815) Bad night (588)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection

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  (248): You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection http://tfl.nu/50lp
  Replies (7) Good night (1320) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  That's me emphasizing the ridiculous

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  (808): RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS (808): That's me emphasizing the ridiculous http://tfl.nu/j8gk
  Replies (1) Good night (729) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea

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  (920): He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea http://tfl.nu/pad4
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Put some vodka in it

  (424): View more from California

  Its 7am

  (323): View more from California

  put some vodka in it

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  (323): Put some vodka in it (424): Its 7am (323): put some vodka in it http://tfl.nu/mu2b
  Replies (7) Good night (1827) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir

  (716): View more from New York

  That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people

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  (585): He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir (716): That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people http://tfl.nu/6664
  Replies (0) Good night (457) Bad night (245)

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