I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
