Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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